Something you will learn about me right away is that I am dependable. You can count on me. I keep my word. And I give 100%. It’s a trait I am finding more and more rare in others. In fact, I get told often that I am rare. A rare find.
I generally do nice things for others because I want to. I like being nice, and I enjoy the feeling I get from helping someone, or making them smile. I do not keep a scorecard in my pocket of what they owe me in return.
However, lately I have been thinking a lot about– expectations. Does the root of all disappointment lie in expectations.
Is it wrong to believe that if you treat others a certain way, or live a certain way– you should expect to be treated in kind. I find that very few others can live up to my expectations. Perhaps my expectations are too high of others. I have been working on having no expectations at all. No expectations= no disappointments, right?
Here are some thoughts that would be nice to expect, but may be unrealistic (Number 4 is the most difficult for me):
1). Show some loyalty- to something/anything. Stand up for what is right. Even if it means you might lose some friends. Be the kind of friend you want to have.
2). Show up when you say you will. When you take a look around it should be no surprise that out of the 654 facebook friends you have, there may only be about five that you can actually count on in life. The rest might be quite pleased to see you fail. Someone might be counting on you. Be that person they can count on.
3). Don’t be wishy-washy- Commit to something. Make a decision and stick to it. Don’t back down or out, change your mind, or go back and forth. And live with the consequences.
4). Don’t take things personally- When people don’t live up to your expectations, don’t take it personally. They have different values than you. What you see as important, may not be to them, and usually has nothing at all to do with you.
5). Keep expectations high (but realistic) of yourself and lower for others. Someone will always let you down, don’t dwell on it. Accept the disappointment and move on and be a better person because of it. It will be a nice surprise if/when your low expectations are exceeded. Give people a chance.
We are all unique, and perfectly flawed. My greatest flaw is being a perfectionist. It can be helpful in many situations, but I will be the first to admit that it is difficult being me. It is impossible. I know that I am not perfect (nobody is). In some ways it motivates me to be the best that I can be. However, it has been tough, but I have also learned when to give myself a break.
I am still learning and struggle every day to show acceptance of others, accepting them for who they are. It makes it easier to move on. The truth is, it’s alright to set standards for ourselves, but not for everyone else.