Out of the Shadows

Every PCS move has phases and denial seems to be a common and recurring theme among them.

I could be a little jaded. After all, who wouldn’t be.

Forced to move, to start over.

Leaving behind a life we’ve built for ourselves and our families.

To do it all over again. And again and again.

Maybe we get better at this with time, but it never seems to become any easier. In fact, it becomes more difficult, because we remember how hard it was before.

Sure, we may learn helpful things along the way, but we may also become frustrated or just plain tired. Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter. It has to be done. We are not Rapunzel stuck in a tower, wondering “when will my life begin?”

Your new life has to begin and you are the one that must make it happen.

Today we will skip past the ‘we moved-we found a place to live-we got our household goods…” phases.

We have now arrived at the ‘unpacked-cannot hide anymore-life has to start sometime-but I don’t want to find new friends’ phase.

I was lucky to have made them the first time around (or the second, or the third….).

Truth is, it gets lonely if you don’t.

Someone pointed out to me recently that “I must stop searching for replacements. I will not find them”. 

Nothing truer.

There could never be another [insert name here], [insert name here], and [insert name here]…

And just as true, there is no replacement for me.

What you do find when you begin to seek out friends without putting so much pressure on them is a vast opportunity to meet individuals and appreciate them for their own uniqueness.

The ones with similar and common interests are unveiled.

Better yet, learning to embrace the differences you may come across.

I am getting there.

Never forgetting the old ones, and memories to last a lifetime. For some our paths will cross again.

Coming out of the shadows.

Strength reveals itself in the smiles of new found friends.


NOTE: These are the phases of my life. As a very outgoing, ‘people-oriented person’, changes such as these are difficult for even me. Imagine what life might be like for an introvert in this lifestyle. How do you start over? Next blog post: my advice for meeting people and starting over. And more importantly, being that smile that welcomes a new person and helps them feel connected.



About Reflections of a Super Stew

Ex-flight attendant turned army wife- Reflecting on the life of 2 flight attendants based in NYC. Travelling the world together, marrying the weekend after 911, Proving love conquers all as the adventures continue. Currently serving in the US Army. I reserve the rights to all written blog posts, and photos at https://superstew39.wordpress.com/ and https://www.facebook.com/superstew39
This entry was posted in airline, flight attendant, crew member, military spouse, Army, Army, military life, deployment, east coast, facebook, flight attendant, friends. relationships, love, military life, military spouse, party, seaside towns, steilacoom, Washington, wedding. Bookmark the permalink.

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