It’s been one year.
I still think of you all the time.
So many things remind me of you.
There have been many instances when I have gone to call you out of reflex,
And it feels like you’re still here, but you are not.
For every important moment in my life, you were there.
Your constant support and belief in me since I was a little girl, shaped the person I became. Sometimes you believed in me more than I did myself.
Sometimes I dream that we are talking on the phone like we used to- I hear your voice. It sounds the same. Those are the nights when you talk to me in my dreams.
All of those memories I have packed away in my heart. I bring them out sometimes.
But it still hurts alot.
It makes me not want to go back there,
And maybe if I don’t ever go back it will be like you’re still there, or at least I can pretend anyway.
[It has been longer than one year since I began this post about my grandmother’s death.]