Why It Doesn’t Matter That Your Husband Is An Officer And Mine Isn’t, Revisted

This happens so rarely, but when it does, it quickly becomes very awkward and unwelcome. Not the first time I’ve written about it either, and I’m sure it won’t be the last…so just don’t be this spouse. Please, I’m begging.

Why It Doesn’t Matter That Your Husband Is An Officer And Mine Isn’t

  1. I am not the one in the military (and neither are you). Sarah to Jareth in the Labyrinth, “You have no power over me.” lab
  2. Take the word ‘military’ out of the equation and let’s see how far your false sense of entitlement gets you (you know who you are).
  3. Oh, because I really just don’t care. Our spouses took different paths within the military. That is all.
  4. We are all wives first that each have the potential to do great things no matter what our husbands rank. rank
  5. You come second to the military just like I do.
  6. This stigma gets redundant, it’s 2016 people.
  7. We’re all in this together.
  8. Still not caring…
  9. Some officers wives have been my best friends, still are.
  10. I treat others how I want to be treated. In fact, I’m probably nicer to them than they are to me. No amount of “officer spouse only” exclusive grooming classes can teach this.
  11. If you think it matters- than you are a part of the problem.

For the record, I have my own coffee group where everyone is invited.

toys

 

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How do working moms do it?

As I woke up and prepared for my first day of working in over a year, it was also the second day of school for my children. In typical 6-year-old girl fashion nothing fit, or matched. Shoes felt tight, every pair of socks felt lumpy, and anything that could become an issue- did. The day before I’m pretty sure I broke my pinky toe doing something clumsy, and I got my first “C” on an assignment in years. All of this set the tone of my mood.

I have always prided myself on being that fun, creative mom, throwing cool birthday parties, being crafty with school projects, being available, and super involved. Not having a full-time job makes this possible (And I am grateful). AND being a parent IS already a full-time job. SO do not forget that.

So I will ask a question that I really need answered: How do working moms do it?

Yesterday I hit a brick wall. Fact is, I’m a mom, and I’m a student, and I’m a volunteer in several capacities, and now, I’m working part-time. How can I do all of these things and be really good at any one of them? Moms of the world, what have we done to ourselves? OR what am I doing wrong? How is it that husbands get to choose one or the other; go to work, or stay home. And moms have to do it all.

So when I'm stressed I'll just yell,

There’s just not enough coffee in the world.

Wake up kids in morning. Tell them to brush their teeth and get dressed twenty times. Ok yell at them. Feed them breakfast. Finally get out door. Oh, right. I did not have time to eat. Go to work and school. Come home. Oh yeah. Forgot to eat again. Maybe clean house. Maybe do laundry, okay probably not. Shouldn’t I be skinnier? Soccer practice, or some other extracurricular activity,stop at grocery store, and two papers and a bunch of schoolwork later…

And if your husband  doesn’t look at you like “what’s for dinner?” after you worked an 8 hour shift and sat at soccer practice for an hour and a half, lucky you, and you’re my idol.

Let’s just say that dinner may or may not have gotten cooked.

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Looking for a house in the town I live in

Starting to have a love-hate relationship with this town.
After a year of looking for a home to buy-

New ad:

Looking for a home in [fill in town here]?

“Ask me first. Chances are I’ve had an offer on that house, since I’m single-handedly trying to see how many home inspections I can pay for in one summer.”

They will all fail, by the way.

Finding a house in this small 2.07 square miles has become quite a challenge.

Having a thorough inspector has probably saved us thousands–

But also broken my heart into pieces each time.

I get my hopes up- to be continually let down.

With our meager budget– we mostly bear the cost of “location”, while inheriting faulty foundations and rodent infestations.

Oh, don’t get me wrong. I love the idea of hundred year old homes- the history, the charm. We call those “Emily houses.” You know one when you see it.

I don’t expect you to get it.
When I was 18 I moved to the East Coast on my own to be close to the ocean.

I got closer and closer, eventually making my way up the coast to Long Island, a few blocks from the sea.

So you see, this need I have to be close to the water is not new.

I have spent my whole life trying to get closer to salt-air.

The moment we drove to the end of Union Avenue, I felt like I belonged here. I looked up and said, “yes, I belong in a house up there, overlooking the Sound.”

end of the block

Well that hasn’t happened yet, but I will not admit defeat.

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A year

It’s been one year.

I still think of you all the time.

So many things remind me of you.

There have been many instances when I have gone to call you out of reflex,

And it feels like you’re still here, but you are not.

For every important moment in my life, you were there.

Your constant support and belief in me since I was a little girl, shaped the person I became. Sometimes you believed in me more than I did myself.

Sometimes I dream that we are talking on the phone like we used to- I hear your voice. It sounds the same. Those are the nights when you talk to me in my dreams.

All of those memories I have packed away in my heart. I bring them out sometimes.

But it still hurts alot.

It makes me not want to go back there,

And maybe if I don’t ever go back it will be like you’re still there, or at least I can pretend anyway.

 

 

[It has been longer than one year since I began this post about my grandmother’s death.]

 

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Home Again

The curtain lifts to a sea of camouflage. Boots. Legs. Faces.

june 2015 350

But I can’t find you.

We walk down the center of the room…letting you find us.

There you are.

Slow motion. Can’t get there fast enough. This moment suspended in time. Everyone else disappears.

Strong arms that hold tightly.

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Moments before, our little angel face bursts into tears. Waiting. She could wait no longer to see her daddy.

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No one knows the days, the hours, the seconds, the moments missed without you like we do. Missing a piece of ourselves.

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But now you are home. We are whole again.

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Pacific Beach

Beach for miles

and the quiet of no people.

The kind of solitude that almost makes me like the West Coast better.

pb 3

my beach baby

A little fog lifts off the sea and floats in and back out again.

If you give it time, the sun will peak through, I promise.

We walk in the sand and find sand dollars at our feet.

What is it that makes me want to stay here all day,

and forever.

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Party Planner Extraordinaire

I started writing this blog post last night. After I woke up this morning, I realized I could probably dedicate an entire blog just to the parties I have done. Truthfully, it’s not only parties, but simply creating: school projects, gifts, house decor.... I am a crafter, I suppose. There, I said it. Even though I do not think it is an actual word.

Lots of people have told me I should be a party planner. It’s true, I’ve planned & organised quite a few events. Usually for family or close friends. It is a process I go through. Something I delve into and enjoy; crafting and creating special touches dedicated to a theme or person. I’m afraid that getting paid for it might take some of the magic away. I would have to do what they wanted and not what I want.

It very much a personal experience for me, which I tend to pour myself into. As a details person, I take the time to add in things that often go unnoticed by many. This is another reason why I am careful when I take on a project. If I do not think I have the proper time to invest, or some other issue- it will not turn out the way I want, which is usually amazing and special somehow. Oh, and I am a perfectionistworkingonnotbeing one.

I find inspiration in many places. Pinterest is ideal. I often use an idea, reinvent it, and put my own creative stamp on it. Most of the time, I find inspiration from the very person I am doing the party for. A perfect example is one of my first baby showers. It was for one of my sisters. Elvis was the theme, and she had no idea. This had special meaning to us, as we love Elvis, and had taken an all-girl road trip to Graceland. Some of my favorite details included: records hanging from the ceiling with song titles like: Little Sister, Teddy Bear, and Elvis cut-out’s as centerpieces. I had SO much fun doing this one!

ElvisHeather

Every now and then I have had successful collaborations with like-minded partners that just get me and my ideas. Now that is a wonderful feeling! Those people totally know who they are. We have even joked about going into business together as party planners! Ideas are shared, as well as the workload=prime combination. This just happened. It was a student tea-party on behalf of the PTA. It was so good that it inspired me to write this blog post, and really got me thinking about all the events I have done.

tea party sneak peek

This was also when I realized that I couldn’t just write one blog post dedicated to all of my favorite parties. There are too many things to share about what I loved at each one! Too many ideas, too much inspiration…and then, since our children came into the picture, birthday parties have taken on a life of their own each year! I mean, there have been Ninjago parties with fake candy sushi, or FU-shi, Skylanders with paper Skylander head’s…(sounds weird, but totally cool!), and tons of princess parties. One year- we even had an actual buried treasure chest for a pirate themed birthday- how can I NOT share that????

So I’m not quite sure how I’m going to do this yet, but it also got me writing with a big smile on my face. I guess you will just have to wait and see what the outcome is!

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